Ah, welcome to the start of a brand new semester here at good ol’ St. Norbert College. It’s week two and I’m already drowning in the waters of essays, speeches, and group projects. Not to mention the work I have to do for my on-campus job and the internship I just started. Why did I think it was a good idea to add an internship on top of everything else? I will never know.
Slowly but surely, I can feel the heavy weight of English 305 bearing down on my skull. I don’t want to be too dramatic, but that’s what it kind of feels like. Already, I feel like everything I know is wrong, and I’m terrified that I’m going to turn this essay in only to have Dr. Pennington give it back to me and tell me that I need to write the whole thing over again. Look, I’ve probably written hundreds of close reading essays, so this should be easy. Why isn’t is easy? This is one of the first close reading essays I’ve written where I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. Is there too much plot summary? Is my thesis strong enough? What am I even arguing? How do I write? Okay, yeah, maybe not the last one, but you get the point.
A visual representation of how this essay is going for me:
And this worries me because if I’m struggling this much writing a close reading essay, how is the rest of the semester going to go?
Truthfully, though, I really enjoyed The Awakening, and I’m looking forward to having a solid essay written about it. Maybe not the first draft, or even the second draft, but I hope by the third draft I’ll be satisfied with my work and my writing. I know what I want to say in my head, but the problem comes when I start to try to write it out. And that’s a big problem considering this assignment is an essay, right? Although, it would be cool to have Dr. Pennington just read my thought essay for a grade.
I will finish, though! It’s just one word at a time. Easy peasy. Good luck to all the other 305ers out there struggling with this first essay. I feel your pain.
